"Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”
Last night, my dad misheard my mom and bought some pasta sauce when we didn’t need any. He started bickering with her when they were figuring out who misheard who. After a couple minutes of this, I interrupted them and said, “Have you ever noticed how you guys start arguing over seemingly stupid shit?” And my dad responded that it was a deeper issue and started to passive aggressively my mom. She got up to go the bedroom, but my dad was like, “no, I’ll go to bed.” My mom ended up sitting in the living room with us while my went into the bedroom. After maybe 20 to 30 minutes, he comes into the living room and asks if he could talk with her, in the bedroom. She says yes after a few moments and follows him into the bedroom.
And they start fighting.
I go downstairs this morning to feed Freaky, our adult cat, and they’re fighting again.
And because of complicated issues with my dad and the past, I always feel like it’s my fault. It brings up the same damn emotions and fears I had when my dad snapped.
I’m moving in at college today, and yet I feel like I’ve been tossed seven years in the past.
So I rebuilt my computer yesterday, to start fresh at college. I moved all of my media (movies, art, photos, lolleriffic pictures, and music onto an external hard drive.) I rebuilt my computer. Then today, I went to import my music into iTunes. I check my music library folder.
It stops at Daft Punk.
Do you know how much music I had? Like 20GB. TWENTY FUCKING GIGABYTES. Most of it was collected from friends and shit, stuff that isn’t on a disc. *sob* I had movie soundtracks for Hayao Miyazaki movies, the soundtrack from Battlestar Galatica (the remake, because the music is so bitching), and just tons of awesome music that took at least two years of building to create.
And about 80% of it is gone.
Thankfully, I found software to get music off of my phone and into my library, which brought it down to 50% of music missing. But still.
I love the internet. I really do. I defend it all the time and appreciate the ability to share information, say what you’re thinking, and sometimes even say the things you may be hesitant to share in a face to face conversation. So this morning, I have an…